In Their Own Words

I have a confession to make - I've become one of the very teachers I used to seethe over back in university and high school. "When are we going to get our tests/essays back?" I'd wonder. "I want to know my mark! What else could they possibly be doing with their time? It's not like they have anything better to do than mark my paper!" Yep, I was that obnoxious.

My, how the tables have turned...

Now I know better. Sure, the first few tests I got to mark back in October and November held a bit of an allure for me. I took pleasure in using a green pen (apparently a red pen is too psychologically negative or something) and making tidy little checks and crosses and writing appropriately encouraging remarks like, "Awesome!" "Super!" "Impressive!"

But now it's February, the excitement of being a "real, live" teacher has worn off a bit, and the stack of tests I need to mark are taunting me.

I've made a bit of progress in the grammar section (snore! so boring), but its really the writing part of the tests that are the most entertaining and my favourite to mark. For my class of teenagers, the instruction was to write an email to their foreign friend describing their favourite place in Russia (the majority of them wrote about Moscow/Mytishi, which is interesting to read about how they view their - and my adopted - city). I also realized that "John" must be the standard go-to English name, because almost ALL of their letters were addressed to this ubiquitous John fellow. Whoever he is, he has a lot of Russian friends!

I know that I go on a fair bit in this blog about how much I love Russia (while at the same time bemoaning certain horrible things like the cruel, cruel weather) so I thought that today, I'd let my students do the talking.

Here are some excerpts from their tests, in all their original glory. Take a peek and get a feel for what Russian teenagers love about their country:

Katya -

Hi Helen!
I've just got your letter cause I had some problems with my Internet. Thank you for discribing your favourite place in your country. By the way, you want to know about my favourite place, yeah? You know, its quite difficult to take just one place and maybe it sounds strange cause I told you about my travelling to many many other countries, but in Russia I've never been more far than Moscow Region.

So I'll tell you about Red Square. Yep, maybe it'll sound boring for you, cause everyone knows about it, and its usually the first assosiation with Russia (with vodka, balalyka and dancing bears!) but its beautiful, really.

I go there quite often (and just over there is a place called "Ohotny Riad", there're many cool shops, expensive but cool - o yeah, I love shopping! So...Red Square. You can't even imagine how its beautiful, especially when you see it in different seasons and than compare it's views. There're always many people. maybe its not really good but they're just all over the world, and you just feel this atmosphere, hear different languages. Oh, I can't discribe it, its something that you just must see. But of course Red Square is just a drop in the rain, because you know, that our country is THIS big (no, of course bigger than this letters!)

P.S. Have you alredy seen my last post on twitter? Dude, if you don't you must see it!!!

Nastya

Hi John!
Hope you're well! Now I want to tell you about our wonderful place! I very like this and come here every weekend with my friends or sometimes with my boyfriend. It is amazing park in Mytishy. Here I've got butterflies in my stomach (Ed. note: "butterflies in my stomach" is one of the idioms we learned in the unit - she's incorporating new phrases into her work...awww!) because I have many memories from this place.

At summer here you can feel yourself how in farytail, because many trees, birds and waterfall enjoyed your imagination. It is so beautiful! It's wonderful place for first date with you girlfriend! It's so romantic. Of course with your friends you can have a funny day. If it will very hot you can run in waterfall. At night it light bright colours!

At winter it's looks not worse! I don't like winter (Ed. note: that makes two of us), but here I like it, because it's so great!
Love,
Nastya

Sophia -

Hi Sally,

Oh my dear, sorry for not writting so long. I have so problems with my school. What's up? You've asked me about my favourite place, and I can tell you about it. Of course, about my ages, I can't name some country or foreign city because of seeing not to much of them. This wonderfull place make my dreaming and remembering past happens. This's such a perfect park, where not to much people, so I always meet there with my friends, not for party, but for speaking or having picnik. There's a lot of trees and grass. I like it very much.

So I hope I've discribed you this park, wanna walk with you there and your cakes (it's so tasty!!!)

Oh no, I should go for an English lessons, and what's so horrible is the test on it! (Ed. note: at least she didn't mention the English teacher!)

Polina -

Dear John,

In this letter I'd like to tell you about some special place in Russia, that means a lot to me. I think you've guessed that its the place where I was born.

Of course, there are some other towns in Russia that are very beautiful and famous for the history or monuments, but in my opinion, Mytishchi is the best place in the world. I really advise you to visit our little town. You might find a lot of interesting activities here. In winter you can go skiing, skating or playing some winter games as hockey. It's also very funny to play snowballs! You can't imagine how marvelous russian forests in winter! (Ed. note: Definitely agree. Russians forests in the winter are BEAUTIFUL.)

If you come to Mytishchi in summer you also won't be bored! Here are some lakes and rivers where you can swim in a hot summer day. And the nature in summer is also incredibly beautiful! And of course in any season you can visit our museums, theatres, art galleries. I really love this town! It's so calm...and people are very kind and friendly.

Yulia -

Hi Liza!
Ok, you gave interesting theme to think in your last email. Well, I don't know, I love all my country but I think the most important place for me is Moscow.

I'll tell you why. I love this city first of all because its place where I born and lived some years. It's also mean a lot to me cause I've a lot of good friends with whom I spend my childhood and nowadays. I like to walk with them. I think all my free time I give to my friends, cause we always hang on the phones or send emails to each other. I think I must say thank you to this pretty place cause I've only good memories about it. In my opinion Moscow is a great city and'll be great.

Margarita -

Dear John,
I am very glad to hear so interesting and good news from you! But now I want to tell you about my favourite and beloved place in Russia. It means a lot for me and I really like this so beautiful and nice place. I live in the capital of my great country Russia. And of course, I love Moscow. There are my grandmother, grandfather, uncle, my best childhood friends. This people are very important and they do a lot for me.

The area where I spent my childhood time isn't very beautiful, but it's only mine and only there I can feel calm and enjoy everything. Also I have got some places where I just like to spend my free time. They are Arbat (old street, where you can visit some museums, interesting shops and drink tea in one of the cafes), park Kolomensjoe (it is a big island of green grass, churches, trees in the Moscow, it's really amazing!) and the Red Square, where I just walk. That's all I think.

The second Margarita -

Hi John!
How are you in your new flat? I wanna know how you have celebrated that you bought a flat in the centre of London! I might study in Oxford (I think you're shocked) I just sent them my project about medcine for radiation poison and now they wanna to talk with me about this seriously. I know that London means a lot to you but I wanna tell you bout city that means lot to me. It's St. Petersburg.

Oh, I know that you will say, that it's cultural capital of Russia, and there are many museums, but I love this city for another things. I love walking wide straight prospekts (avenues) in the morning when there aren't many people. I love having lunches in the parks where I can sit on the green grass and looking at people. I love standing near the Neva (river), feeling cold breeze and watching at the sky, and this sky isn't dark. (Ed. note: Margarita is writing about the White Nights in St. Petersburg, a time in June and July when the sun doesn't set until around 3am for just a few hours...it's supposed to be an other-worldly experience - lots of celebrations and parties happening as well! - and I'm hoping to experience that for myself while I'm in Russia!)

Valeria - (a name I always want to pronounce like Malaria!)

Dear Kate,
You asked me to write about important place in my country that means a lot to me. I was thinking about it very long time and at last I understood that the most important place in my country is my town Mytishi. It's my native soil so I feel very pleasant and comfortable here. Besides, I was born here so there are no more places which I can know better than Mytishi.

I know every place in Mytishi: all roads, all school, all cafe. Mytishi is very small town, I know, but it's very dear and interesting city. There are a lot of museums, picture gallerys, monuments, chopping centre, etc, so it is not boring to live here. Oh, of course my best friends. All my lovely friends live in Mytishi and it is another reason why I can't live anywhere else.

Masha -

Hi Lana? How are you?

You asked me to tell you about my favourite place in my country. It is Kaliningrad. My sister, her husband, and her sons live there, and I have been there about ten times.

It was a German town, but after the Second World War Kaliningrad became a Russian town. There is the Baltish Sea near Kaliningrad, it is cold but I like to swim there. There are many beautiful places in Kaliningrad, for example, the Immanuil Kant Cathedral. There are many universities there, the most famous is Kant's Kaliningrad university. Immanuil Kant is a German scientist and he was born in Kunigsberg. Kaliningrad was named Kunigsberg when it was a German town. The most beautiful street is the Bogratinov Street; I would like to live there because it is a very beautiful town.

Dmitri - (the one boy in my class! He puts up with a lot!)

Hi John, how are you?

So now I have a time to answer on your question. Its hard to say what place in my country a lot, but I'll try to answer you on this question. I think the most meanful place for me in my country is Mytishi when I live and grow up. I think so because meanful place for person is that place where he had a memory of his friends, family, or somebody else. So Home means for me a lot, because I live wiht my parents, that mean for me a lot, they teach me how to become a good person in the future.

I like to walk about streets with my friends. I always have a good time with them, we do sport and have a lot of fun. So if you think that I'm not right, try to think about your best place and think why it's important for you. I'm sure that the reason will be people are really close to you. So you know now what place means for me a lot, and I wait for your answer what place means for you a lot.

The International Sign for "Help!"

A few summers ago, I did an immersion program in a tiny Quebec village, Trois-Pistoles. While I was there, I did a lot of biking up in the rolling hills of rural Quebec, which is an absolutely gorgeous part of Canada.



One day, I was biking by myself and passed a farmhouse while out on a gravel road. All of a sudden, three big pit bulls, barking and snarling, came bolting out of a barn and raced towards me with murder in their eyes. I guess the girl on the bicycle was seen as a clear threat to them or something.

With my imminent death approaching, I froze in terror. The only thing I could do was yell, "Au secours!"

The house with the evil dogs.

Luckily, the dogs stopped right at their property line (maybe there was one of those invisible fences installed?) All I knew was that I was lucky to escape with my life, and I promptly bolted. As I pedalled furiously back to my host mother's house , I realized with a rueful laugh that the whole raison d'etre of me doing this immersion program had been achieved - my first instinct in the face of death had been to yell for help in French! I was pretty proud of myself!

Flash forward to today. Instead of a bike ride, I'm out running. And instead of three lean, mean pit bulls, there's a mangy, starved-looking stray dog growling and yapping at my ankles. This time, however, I was too scared to formulate words (I think Russian for help is pronounced "pomaGEETye").

I just SHRIEKED.

At a decibel level that was loud enough to attract the attention of everyone on the busy, bustling Lyotnaya Street in Mytishi.

Err...

(Not only does everyone already think I'm a freak for running - apparently the only suitable form of physical exercise for women here is light swimming/floating and walking around in stilettos - now I'm the freak runner who SCREAMS. Great.)

Anyways, some woman shot me a baleful glance and muttered something to the dog that caused it to trot off, looking as harmless as the Easter Bunny and making me look like a hysterical dog-hater. To be clear, I don't hate dogs. I just don't...trust them.

At least I figured out today that knowing the Russian word for "help" isn't necessary. When you really need help (or when you're just convinced a stray dog is going to take a bite out of your calf)...

Screaming works.

Defenders of the Fatherland Day

Today is Defenders of the Fatherland Day (День защитника Отечества - dyen' zasheetnika otaychestva), a public holiday here in Russia that marks the date in 1918 during the Russian Civil War when the first mass draft into the Red Army took place. It used to be called Red Army Day, and was celebrated in honour of anybody serving in the Army, but nowadays it is more colloquially known as Men's Day (День Мужчин - dyen' moozhchin) and is the male equivalent of the March 8th holiday that is coming up - International Women's Day. I guess the guys deserve their own day too...

Anyways, Valentine's Day isn't a very big deal here - more attention is paid to February 23rd and March 8th. I looooove Valentine's Day, whether I'm single or in a relationship, but even I have to admit that it was nice to get a break this year from the hit-you-over-the-head-with-it over-commercialization of V-Day. There were no cards, no candy hearts, no sappy Cupids, no garish pink-and-red decorations in the shops...when I mentioned Valentine's Day to my classes, the general reaction seemed to be that it was a Western holiday and that it should stay in the West.

Defenders of the Fatherland Day, however, seems to be an entirely different matter. In the shops, I saw several cards (most of them rather cheeky, featuring buxom cartoon women thanking soldiers for their sacrifices) and small gift bags featuring aftershave, cologne, and other "manly" necessities. And the entire country got the day off work!!

That was awesome - I've been feeling somewhat overwhelmed lately with all my classes, and I was just given a new class that starts next Tuesday night. So the chance to sleep in and spend the rest of the day with friends was very, very welcome!

I went bowling (uhhh, you don't need to know my score...I'm too modest to brag here anyways!) and then to a photo exhibit with Tatiana, Vlada, and Tatiana's new flatmate, Kolya, called "The Best of Russia:2010." It featured "the best" (I'm not sure how they were picked, but they all truly were incredible!) photographs of Russia throughout the year. The categories were Nature, Daily Life, People, Architecture, and Style. Unfortunately my camera's battery died about halfway through so I don't have that many pictures from the event. The photographs were all eye-catching and provocative in different ways - some were funny, some were full of pathos and tragedy, others were majestic and awe-inspiring.

Polar bears at the Moscow zoo cooling off
during Summer 2010's record heat wave

Vlada, Tanya, and I next to a cute photograph
- the elderly woman
in the background is covering her husband's eyes!

During the summer's heatwave/smog attack, in
Moscow with the Kremlin in the background

Crazy people getting ready for a "healthy" plunge
into freezing water!

As adorable as I thought this photo was, there's
still no way I'd be that cool about sharing my oatmeal with
a mouse!

Loved this photo outside the Kremlin walls

Best friends :) now these women look like nice babushki!

"That's how you're going to pose?"
"I can't do the 'one-arm-in-the-air' pose, my mum
said I pose like that in every picture of me!"
Hence...awkward pic of me not knowing what to do
with my arms.

To the men in my life, Happy Men's Day and thank you for being such terrific guys!

(Frost) Bite Me

I'm not in, shall we say, the best of moods right now.

It probably has something to do (yes, even in my weakened state right now I am capable of sarcasm) with the fact that I just spent over an hour in -30 degree temperatures waiting for a bus that never came.

Stupidly, I had decided to drink a big mug of tea right before braving the cold, so I spent those lovely 70-odd minutes outside desperately trying not to pee. Which meant that I couldn't do my usual aquafit-gleaned moves to keep warm (when it comes to public humiliation or not turning into an icicle, I choose humiliation...hands down!) because if I had so much as attempted a jumping jack or hamstring curl, well...you get the idea! So I stood there and slowly became part of the general, snow-encased landscape.

Why, out of all the countries in the world, did I choose RUSSIA to fall in love with??? Why couldn't I have become obsessed with, say, Jamaica? I think maybe Russia and I were better off in a long-distance relationship, when I could love her from afar (ie, somewhere warmer). Now, being so up close and personal with her, I'm having second thoughts about our compatibility.

Thank goodness its February. The end has to be near...right? Right?

Until then, I'm living in my housecoat and drinking hot, hot tea - but only small cups (shot glasses? We've got enough of those here). I've learned my lesson!

Attempting to warm up!

LOVE

Happy 24th anniversary, Mum and Dad!! I love you so much!

When Naomi met Volodya

This annoys me soooooo much...

First of all, I don't really have much respect for Naomi Campbell. All I know about her is that she's a supermodel from the 90s, she's like the emaciated version of Russell Crowe (but don't let that fool you, she can be just as vicious with a telephone!), she was involved in a blood diamonds scandal, and she's dating the Russian oligarch Vladislav Doronin, who according to Colleen and Stuart's friend Nina (she lives in the same building where Doronin has a penthouse suite), is a complete wuss who got freaked out by Nina's mum when he was forced to share an elevator with her and no security.

So when I saw that Naomi had interviewed Putin for GQ magazine, I had to roll my eyes. What could a vacuous model who's had numerous encounters with the law have to say to the prime minister of Russia? Well, not much apparently.

The whole interview is just as vapid and gag-inducing as I imagined. Regardless of how you feel about Putin, the fact remains that he is one of the world's most powerful men and there are surely more interesting and globally important issues to discuss with him than how he stays fit. (Answer: by swimming the butterfly. Naomi informs us that she was just in the Dead Sea in Jordan and "it was the first time I floated in my entire life." I feel so much smarter knowing that now.)

The worst part of the interview in my opinion was their discussion on the erotic calendar that the MGU female journalist students put out back in October in honour of Putin's birthday. I blogged about it previously here. Now my feelings have just been magnified by Putin's response to it:

"I like the girls a lot, they're beautiful. I like the calendar but it's not the most important thing. As for the other one, well, in almost any country, probably in Russia in particular, it's fashionable to criticise people in power. If you come out in support of someone like me, you're going to be accused of trying to ingratiate yourself. The girls in the erotic calendar were courageous and they were not scared. As student journalists, they couldn't fail to understand what might have been said to them after doing this. Nonetheless, they were not deterred and did the calendar anyway. So, frankly, that's what I liked the most."

There are so many things wrong with this! The girls were COURAGEOUS for posing in lingerie with inane speech bubbles over their heads saying things like, "You put the fires out but I'm still burning"?? In my opinion, that's not courageous or commendable, that's cheap and like, two GIANT steps back for women's equality. Plus, of course the women were not deterred from doing the calendar. A) They're going to get noticed, and B) It's not like people who AGREE with Putin are risking their lives or anything.

I'm just really disappointed and disgusted by this article. Not cool, GQ.

The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?

My name is Katie and I have a problem.

I've never smoked, I don't do drugs, I don't drink to excess (especially in comparison to Russians...yes, it is a stereotype but aren't most stereotypes rooted in truth?) ... I never really thought of myself as a person with addictions. Unless its to peanut butter. But sadly, that has fallen by the wayside since moving here. Anyways...

Apparently I DO have a problem. According to a quiz I took with my student Oleysa today, I AM A HOARDER.

It shames me to admit this to everyone. "Hoarder" has a horrible connotation, dredging up visuals of dirty, crazy cat ladies or sad, pathetic old men who fill their houses with so much garbage that they have to dig a tunnel through it all to get to the little corner of space where they sleep. I swear, I'm not like that. I'm not that bad. *Note of desperation creeps into voice*

In all seriousness, though, Oleysa and I were reading an article today about various people and their hoarding habits. One man hoarded lizards (!) of all things, and then one day the police came into his house to discover the lizards feasting on the poor guy's corpse. As you can imagine, this article was incredibly disturbing.

At the end, there was this cheery little quiz - Are YOU a hoarder? It asked. Pfff, obviously not, I thought to myself smugly. But then we started filling out the quiz...

Do you keep:

- plastic bags? (Yes. But only because I re-use them at the grocery store, so that's ok, right? I'm environmentally conscious!)

- bags from fashionable shops? (Um. Yes. I am a tad pretentious, I suppose. But the bags are usually really cool and stylish, and you can use them again...)

Oleysa started giving me weird looks at this point...

- empty wine bottles? (Hah! No! I exclaimed exuberantly, relieved to find something I didn't hoard. But then...wait a second...I remembered the two cat-shaped bottles of wine I kept from a few years ago to use as a decoration in my bedroom...hoarding cat-shaped wine bottles? Does it get any more pathetic than that? I'm starting to look like a hoarding alcoholic cat lady now!)

- empty jam jars? (No. Seriously. I hate jam. Score one for me, by default)

- old clothes? (Sigh. Guilty. But I LOOOOVE clothes. And you never know when something's going to come back in style, right? "Even if it's twenty years later?" Oleysa asked me, raising her eyebrows. Hmm. Good point. But this will take some coming around to. Which means my piles of clothes I was forced to leave back in Canada are NOT fair game to sisters or mothers! :)

- old newspapers? (Again, yes. But...putting on a pompous, "all for posterity's sake" voice, I am really just selflessly helping out the future generation of historians here by holding onto newspapers from important dates in history. I kept the front page of the paper from September 11, 2001, for example. And my great-grandmother kept the front page from November, 1947 - Queen Elizabeth's wedding! I have it framed in my bedroom. So maybe I come by my hoarding tendencies legitimately?)

- old magazines? (You never know when you might want to read some recycled fashion tips for a laugh. Or use in an art project. Or donate to a musuem in fifty years. Or...)

- pens? (Pfff. What kind of loser hoards pens?)

- ticket stubs, theatre programmes, etc? (But they're mementos! Important artifacts! Perfect to use if I ever get around to scrapbooking!)

Okay, so as you can see, out of the list of possible hoarding items, I hoard all but two. This is pathetic. Oleysa was laughing while we were going through the list, but it was definitely the laughing AT you kind of laugh.

I've gotten a lot better since coming to Russia, because I basically had to fit my life into two suitcases for a year. I assure you, I don't have to crawl through a tunnel of rubbish to make it to my bed. I'm totally fine with the limited amount of clothes I packed for here, and I have only held on to ONE vodka bottle and a few ticket stubs (but those are so easy to ferret away! They hardly take up any space! Hmm...justifying my behaviour again) Most importantly, however, there are absolutely NO cats or lizards here.

This is progress, people!!